MiMO: Satellite of Three

Why me?

why me? why me?
cause i know you got plenty of options
so why me? why me?
because i know im never good for nobody
underneath the hood its a different story
hard to know that im always just a trophy
i come with attitude
im in and out my mind
i show love the way i do
if i cant im of no use
throw me in the dirt
im done playing by their rules

Chorus
and my head says
go ahead and take the exit
leave them in the dust
youre a ticking time bomb
a broken tool no one can trust
never good for nobody
yeah that is the deal
keep your distance they dont wanna see or know how you feel

Bridge
but why me? why me?
because i know i gave my all
but they handle it like they dont care
bashing myself in the head telling me im not really there
are all my actions just empty words?
what can i do to prove my worth?
I need to move before i get hurt
with all respect i do know my own worth

Bridge 2
im done with the crying
done with the fucking pain
standing in the fire and also dancing in the rain
im used to it
there is nothing new
let them misunderstand my intention
and if they cant appreciate what i bring to the table
ive learned that authenticity brings you into the blue

Outro
Why me? Why me ??

WokeUpontheFloor

Verse 1: (Freud)
woke up on the floor with a bruise and a blurry eye
another lonely night with the self no jury
just a heavy reply
Freuds in the mind labeling the morning w/mood
with a sneer like a rusted hinge in an eviction feud
my brain says "chill"
youre just fiction and friction
a static addiction to a self imposed restriction
its the cold hard logic of a stagnant station

Chorus: (Kafka)
ill slam the morning bright just to spite the sight
a calcified hush
a shutter on a cracked foundation
wiping the sleep out my eyes feeling like a vermin
looking for a priest but i only find a sermon
Kafkas got a verdict and its written on my life
im the hand and the throat im the victim and the knife
just a bug in the rug waiting for the boot

Verse 2 (Jung)
now jungs in the mirror trying to fix what is hollow
a hand of positive pills that are bitter to swallow
he talks about the shadow like its something to embrace
but im scared of the stare of the stranger in my face
collective unconscious?
im just conscious of the mess
a chess piece stressing in a game of nothingness
hes the light im the soot
hes the shoe im the foot
im the social contract that the devil already put
through the shredder
no better just a broken letter
a skip in the rhythm
a leak in the vessel
wrestling a ghost that I cant even settle

[Repeat Chorus]

Verse 3: (Locke & Rousseau)
kicked through the doorway, spat at the threshold
lockes on the corner with a story untold
hes shredding the ledger
the debts, and the blame
A tabularasa with no fucking name
if im born as a zero then zero is power
a blank bullet chamber at the twilight hour.
rousseaus in the alley
ripping the leash
a wild kind of chaos a savage release
he says mans born free
but hes wrapped in the wire
so im climbing the fence and im pissing on the fire
the ticker might stumble
the vessel might tear
but im gulping the toxic and calling it air
no freud in the mirror no jung in the pills
just a fossil reanimated against its own will

Outro:
Freud locks the gate.
Kafka writes the fate.
Jung is way too late.
im the bait
just a bug
in the mud

TheAbsurdContext

Intro
yeah small frame heavy weather
ninety pound weakling in a house of pressure

Verse 1
everything was dandy til the candy turned to gravel
met a kid named andy watched the tapestry unravel
a miniature warlord in a sandbox kingdom
targeting the marrow just to see if i could sing him a song of submission young wolves in a pack
im adjusting my posture just to dodge the attack
tried to win the graces got the laces in my teeth
a cold discomfort simmering beneath
mother said move forward so im enrolled in the combative
studying the strike just to balance the narrative
shadowboxing ghosts in a gym full of hate
while the bullies in the hallway were the masters of my fate

Chorus
i was a microscopic shadow in a circuit of titans
learning how to weather all the thunder and the lightnings
i crave a quiet room but im wired for the riot
trading in my peace for a piece of the defiant
pushed and pulled til the tectonic shifted
just a tiny anchor by the heavy current lifted

Verse 2
sent to the dojo to stabilize the neckbone
a white belt ghost in a violent check zone
form was a factor but the spirit was a vacuum
small scale engine in a high pressure backroom
lacking the conviction to ignite the fuse
so im collecting the samples of the greens and the blues
next was the kung fu
the art of the absurd
where the silence of the motion is the only valid word
forget the choreography discard the design
only use the poison when youre crossing the line
found a new circle a facade made of plaster
while my brothers in the first grade moving much faster
accepted at five the smallest specimen on record
clashing with the locals on a bloodstained checkerboard

Chorus
i was a microscopic shadow in a circuit of titans
learning how to weather all the thunder and the lightnings
i crave a quiet room but im wired for the riot
trading in my peace for a piece of the defiant
pushed and pulled til the tectonic shifted
just a tiny anchor by the heavy current lifted

Verse 3
turns out the comrades were just vultures in disguise
i could see the hunger through the cataracts and lies
pushed into the corner til the corner disappeared
i became the very thing the faculty had feared
one fine afternoon the pushed and pulled snapped
the patience evaporated the protagonist was trapped
i didnt aim for the chin or the bridge of the nose
i sent a lightning bolt low where the ego grows
punched him in the nuts
dismissed for the excessive use of force they say
well the hunted learned to hunt and the prey began to play

Bridge
overtime the punch became the punctuation
a violent response to a social stagnation
the flaw is the armor that i never took off
a permanent flinch and a cynical cough
im an expert in the exit a scholar of the strike
still looking for a version of the world i actually like

Outro
the blood wont bleach out
the knuckles stay swollen
the tiny guy grew up but the childhood was stolen
dismissed for the force
now theyre offended that im not still weak

Flatline Integration

Verse 1
fourteen dad dropped the signal left mom with the static
a sudden fracture in the rafters something erratic in the attic
no compass in the wreckage so i mirrored the big brother
swapped one missing puzzle piece for the jagged edges of another
fifteen the chemistry kit arrived in a different wrapper
not a hobby just a lobby for a young aspiring trapper
i watched the elder navigate the shadows of the precinct
survival of the slickest till the innocence was extinct
he got the iron bracelets the state took his signature
but i was already a ghost in the system a separate miniature
sold my own orbit while his world turned to a cell
no more north star to follow just the ringing of a bell

Chorus
trace the wire to the source find the fracture in the line
a ghost in the machinery just begging for a sign
from the concrete to the silicon the integrations deep
while the citys out there dreaming im the one who doesnt sleep
reboot the system let the static fade away
im a different kind of animal at the break of day

Verse 2
brother behind the plexiglass the anchor snapped the cable
left a ghost at the head of the house a shadow at the table
no more echoes of a mentor just the static in my marrow
so i walked into the lions den with a broken tipped arrow
proving my pulse to the kings of the corner
a seventeen year old ghost a self appointed mourner
had to look them in the iris show em i could take the friction
while the vultures circled closer feedin off my own addiction
they were thirsty for the product treating me like a fountain
while i was hollowing out my chest to build a chemical mountain
signed a lease on a bunker seventeen and solo a king in a castle of dust flying a tattered flag of polo

Chorus
trace the wire to the source find the fracture in the line
a ghost in the machinery just begging for a sign
from the concrete to the silicon
the integrations deep
while the citys out there dreaming im the one who doesnt sleep
reboot the system let the static fade away
im a different kind of animal at the break of day

Bridge
suit and tie for the showroom
a salesmans grin
pushing sneakers and athletic dreams to cover the sin
an apprentice of the hustle
learning the spin of the ball
while the chemical tide was rising preparing the fall
didnt notice the silence where the laughter used to live
real friends retreating with nothing left to forgive
had a key to a fortress an apartment of my own
but i was sleeping in the static vibrating alone

Verse 3
a frequency cutting through the debris of the day
mom on the line
sensing the short in the wire
reaching into the furnace to pull a coal from the fire
new city new circuit she whispered the code
a detour to the desert to unbuckle the load
i ghosted the phantom friends the leeches the debt
traded the chemical crown for a cold turkey sweat
from the floor of the wreckage to the technical grade
polishing the tarnished edges of a life in the shade

Chorus
trace the wire to the source find the fracture in the line
a ghost in the machinery just begging for a sign
from the concrete to the silicon
the integrations deep
while the citys out there dreaming im the one who doesnt sleep
reboot the system let the static fade away
im a different kind of animal at the break of day

Outro
no more shaking the jar to see who bites
just the steady green glow in the middle of the night
i see a specialist i see a map of the scars
rebuilding the network under different stars
integration
terminal active
the signal is steady
finally

0300 Bench Press

Intro
the sun goes down the court convenes
three chairs one witness no exit
check the math check the math again

Verse 1
i operate in the millisecond latency the datastream delay
a bespoke architectural buffer where the social phantoms play
im running the triangle
point a is the marrow in the bone
point b is the target audience
the static on the phone
but point c is the gargoyle
the neutral cold observer
an astral projection snitch
a high frequency pervert
im measuring the arc of the vowels before they hit the air
a tectonic precalculation
a handle with care
its a chess match in a vacuum
a blueprint in a storm
sacrificing the function just to preserve the form

Chorus
im a prisoner of three in a room with no corners
a council of ghosts and a circle of mourners
the triangle measures the distance to pain
while the judge writes the failure in ink on my brain
the monster is pacing
just begging to bite
trading my peace for a ghost story fight
striving for gold in a world made of lead
im just trying to survive the three men in my head

Verse 2
the judge is a cold room auditor
a forensic of the oops
jumping through his own self generated hulahoops
hes got a microscopic lens for the rust on the bolt
charging me with treason for every unpredicted jolt
hes got the hunger for a flawless topography
indicting the heart for its sloppy pornography
of trust of love of the uncushioned fall
hes painting the weakness on the back of the wall
hes not a priest offering solace for the puncture or the ache
hes a structural engineer pointing at the timber where you break

Verse 3
while the judge is busy drafting up his cold never again
the monster is in the basement sharpening the when
hes a jaggedtooth golem made of childhood shrapnel and grit
the one who keeps the pilot light burning when the spirit is split
he doesnt care for the triangle or the social etiquette delay
hes the punched him in the nuts logic that keeps the wolves at bay
control is ghost he growls through the iron grate
im the only one here who can actually carry the weight
when the time starts to bleed and the pressure cracks the glass
hes the one who steps out to let the monster come to pass
hes the jaggedtooth logic in a world of soft lies
the reason the stable guy has such predatory eyes

Bridge
time is a snitch a rust colored stain on the day
the more the clock crawls
the more the foundations fray
the judge wants the moon
the monster wants the throat
and im just the cartographer trying to stay afloat
its a three way tugofwar
on a high tension wire
standing in the center of two competing fires

Outro
the judgment is over
the arm and back are scratched deep
ima try to find some sleep
and tomorrow
we will do it all over again

The 0300 Masonry

Intro
okay fourth times the charm
or the curse
check the math
recheck the math
who let the heart out
put it back in the box
lock it double lock it

Verse 1
im a grandmaster of the flinch a scholar of the what if
keeping every social interaction frozen cold and stiff
i don just meet a gaze i perform a structural scan
measuring the load bearing capacity of every woman and man
its a simulation of the crash before the wheels even turn
calculating the exact degree the bridge is gonna burn
i biopsy the hello
i dissect the phantom grin
looking for the jagged edges where the judgment enters in
authenticity is a hazard
its a leak in the high pressure hull
a vulnerability tax that leaves the personality dull
safety is a geometry a calculation of the gap
just a mapmaker terrified of falling off the map

Verse 2
so the drawbridge drops
a rare glitch in the design
baring the soft tissue on a high traffic line
and the rejection hits like shrapnel a familiar cold rain
confirming every ugly prophecy etched into the brain
cue the heavy masonry
bring the mortar and the grit
build a cathedral for the ghost and make sure the mask fits
the walls arent just a barrier
theyre a structural rebuke
a monument to every time the spirit trusted a fluke
forty two winters of the same recurring ghost
a heavily armored vessel that cant find the coast
refusing to grant the authentic any privilege or liege
im the warden and the prisoner in a self inflicted siege

Verse 3
now the system punishes the impulse
fines the heart for the slip
puts a jagged iron muzzle on the ego and the lip
how dare you be fragile
the internal voice spits
gluing back the armor and the porcelain bits
it takes a corpse to fathom the feel
when your heart is surrounded by steel
four for four on the failure
a veteran of the sting
tucking every soft feather back under the wing
the logic is a bunker
but the bunker is a tomb
denying any light that tries to enter the room
the concrete is dry
the isolation is pure
a permanent solution for a soul that isnt sure

Outro
trial four
result redacted
wait did i leave the oven on
the walls are reinforced
the punishment is delivered
everything is safe now
completely
utterly
and boringly
safe

Faulty Transmitter

Verse 1
good intentions bad communication
just a painful silent complication
tried to be honest opened up my inner world
watched my thoughts get dizzy watched my feelings get swirled

Pre-Chorus
was trying to tell you exactly how i’m feelin'
but my words shot up straight through the ceiling
i wonder if i made a mistake to not mention it clearer
now i'm looking for the truth inside the broken mirror

Chorus
time machine broken text un-spoken a signal token
the silence is golden or maybe just smoking
told you all along the frequency was never wrong
just a faulty transmitter singing a cryptic song
excuse my inarticulate i'm used to fumbling

Bridge
i own my mistakes i know they're true
trying to build a bridge reaching out to you
dodging the discomfort i don't know
but you're my bro i respect your cope
but i'm currently broke and running low on hope

Bridge 2
digging through the debris of a collapsed perception
static in the signal creating a faulty reception
sent a passing spark but framed it as a solid lifelong scope
just a broken radio begging the sky for hope

Outro
analog to digital digital to dust
frequency faulty in the vacuum we trust

Gold-Leaf Frame

Verse 1
drafting the blueprints in a vacuum sterile and strange
quantifying the unicorn an outlier in the range
post infarct recovery my heart was a glitchy machine
i used you as the anchor the logic the safety in the screen
i mapped the loyalty no romantic objective in sight
just a parasitic signal in the middle of the night
but the translation fumbled the syntax was charred
i offered a map of the bond you saw a fence in the yard
i brought my chaos to the table a weight i couldnt ignore
seeking a hard stop for my system to keep the connection secure
no hidden passion just the noise beneath the floorboards
a desperate selfish need to sync my internal chords
i requested the audit to realign the frame
to isolate the blur and keep the foundation the same
i was so scared to lose a friend the canopy grew too deep
i over pruned the wood for a promise i couldnt keep
but you saw a systemoverload where i saw a clarityupdate
you saw a terminal burden where i botched the diagnostic
failed to precalculate that my plain was your chaotic
three years of shared ground dissolving in the flare
because i spoke a truth that the frequency couldnt bear

Verse 2
i respect the boundary the disconnect the final tactical retreat
i see the manual override and the logic of the street
i didnt seek a conflict or a way to make you stay
i just couldnt carry my own head so i threw it in your way
because the silence is a vacuum where the ghosts of anxiety grow
a heavy duty radiation that a person shouldnt know
i traded our comfort for a sharp and jagged truth
to stop the mental engine from grinding down its tooth
losing you is heavy like a structural decay
a high maintenance ally just fading into grey
but id rather have the coldness of the yes
when i forced you by asking if the friendship ended
within my hand
than be a ghost ship drifting in a silent nameless land
i over managed what we built the three year run
but i couldnt sit and pulse to the metronome of the shun
listening to the pendulum swing through a tomb of none
watching the second hand twitch (clock) like a loaded gun
sorry for the high pressure for breaching the seal
for making you the mechanic of everything i feel
im wishing you the peak state the joy n the sun
my last transmission was an exit
i was too much work for anyone in that waiting state

Verse 3
i tried to stabilize the climate
not to rattle the cage just scrambling to ducttape a highyield legacy
i was over tending the roots of a three year vine
demanding your help to stop my own slow decline
i accept the sudden frost i honor where you stand
but i prayed for a signal or a guiding hand
a simple honest frequency to cut through the haze
an exit-protocol for this labyrinthine maze
when the curtain pulled back and the new landscape showed
i saw the new life and the different road
i respected the shift but if that truth was the lead
we couldve skipped the friction and the phantom need
one open word wouldve settled the debt
without the static or the heavy duty net
im thankful for the canopy the shade i called a home
ill honor the roots while im standing in the loam
ill keep the three years in a gold-leaf frame
and leave the wreckage of the last days without a name
no grudge in the gears no salt in the glove
just the highres memory of a friendship i couldnt hold gently enough
Sorry i failed you

Outro
system override no ghost no drama
i respect your path as your own panorama
no grudge in the archive no shadow in the cell
im grateful for the clarity truly wish you well
a promise of integrity is the one that i keep
one day hopefully you see
wish our paths align further down the street
and until then ill light a light in the deep

0300 Landmark

Verse 1
its a heart valve grown in a blunt force thicket
an anomaly holding a non transferable ticket
seen as a threat by the ones who prefer the leash
whod rather buy the map than map the masterpiece
if it pulls it has mass and the loyalty is sovereign
in a frequency that shared gears can govern
a structural hybrid of bone and stained glass
built for the gravitation then shattered by the pass
the white noise of the casual is a salt spray solvent
dissolving the sacred where the spirit was once involved
it doesnt vibe it resonates to the distinct few
open source dialogue bleeding the marrow into you
trading hello for a deep tissue scan
searching for the sonder in the blueprint of the man
a high fidelity anchor in a shallow water bay
refusing to perform the social grade play
master of the why scholar of the ghost trace
a satellite signal in a crowded noisy space
offering the harvest the entire soul as bread
a shared feast of truths in a world thats underfed
a permanent solution to a temporary need
the rarest kind of flower in a field of generic weed
holding down the center with a non negotiable law
the zero at the station that they never even saw

Chorus
the friction is strange but the intent is growth
allow the furnace designed for us both
the nearer the center the clearer the why
where the performance ends and the truths dont lie
adapt to the crush let the gravity hold
a heavy wrap blanket for a world that is cold
its not to dismantle its to make you whole
the weight of the zero is the home for the soul

Verse 2
while the travelers observe they re collectively rattled
fearing a core they werent equipped to have anchored
a dna thumbprint that might acidify the rain
a conversation so alienated it creates a phantom pain
deep water perspective we navigate the topic
meeting our reflection in a space thats sub atomic
a friendly reminder you are the world during a speak
the energy has to pivot when the structure is unique
watching the seeds we planted start to garden patch
until the frequency aligns and we lift the escape hatch
buried the ego in a three dot perspective of the why
to adjust to keep that rare company by its side
its heavy set wonderful fly in the ointment grade
a symphony offered but a dialogue stayed

Outro
the frequency is settling the state is shifting
folding the light from the blunt force drift
to a faint silver glimmer beneath the skin
the zero is a landmark standing alone
an anomaly waiting for a seed to be sown
stillness presence a pulse in the sound
stationed for the ones with the courage to be found

A FRIEND IN THE FANGS

Intro
you got a little light now and you are walking strange new circle round you talking change but i remember the floor i remember the real shit.. i remember the real you

Verse 1
its funny how that shine hits different when the memorys short i remember you down-bad looking like crap laying in the mud dont bite the hands that held you up dont you go forgetting that i was the one who pulled us out while you were flat on your back i didnt keep a ledger didnt weaponize the truth i just gave you everything while we were burning in our youth but now you are acting different dancing for a crowd thatll kill you walking strange swallowing the bile of a plastic crowd you try to isolate me from the glimmer and shine but i know the grime who you trying to impress? stretching a lions soul into a strays dress? since success got loud your soul started to disappear i aint mad mate i just see you clear stop isolating there is no need to cheat for a seat just remember who fed you when you couldnt eat!

Chorus
dont bite the hand that feeds just cause the world met you you are shining now i get you but i see right through look what it cost to get you to the front of the line you gained the crowd but lost the gold in the mine dont bite the hand that feeds you (mhhhhh) that aint how you heal thats just how you lose the real

Verse 2
i stay silent in the cut i dont switch the lane for the trend while you are swapping out faces just to fit a new friend i was right there for the crawl back when the pulse was slow before you were too high to even drop a nod or hello we grew up in the dirt participated the hustle the addiction the mess i was there when that grave almost handled all of the stress so dont come around me with that rehearsed good guy walk i see the predatory ghost in your eyes every time that you talk they dont know where you came from they just love the show they love the version of you that serves them but we know underneath that smile there is just a mask without a true soul

Bridge
i wouldve clapped for you man i did clap for the win until you turned your back like our history was a sin thats the part that hits thats the part that stays money doesnt change the man it just shows his ways we came from the bottom the addiction the grit i see the shift before you even notice it remember who was there when the world was a fake dont get it twisted remember who fed you for your own sake remember you

outro (mhhhhh) yo come back lets meet half way lets feast on the things that fed our fears crack the mask and feel be real. free no more performance no more social debt were the only ones left

TORN GAUZE

Intro
the lights are flickering but the seats are empty i am standing here in the greasepaint waiting for a cue any cue i am not a chaser but the show must go on so let me perform the jester

Verse 1
the curtain drops air in the room grown heavy and still like a winter that climbed over the windowsill i am painting a grin where the warmth used to be a neon puppet for the blind to see i reach for your hand but i am catching the wind while the bells on my hat chime for where we begin i am walking the tightrope on a singular thread juggling daggers till the palms turn red while you build a world with my name off the plaque i am checking the script for a way to get back i ask for the script if i have fallen from grace but i am met with a wall and a strangers face stomach is a knot a tangle a doubt a fool in the wings trying to find the way in or out i would run to the you from a few weeks ago before the greasepaint started melting away

Chorus
give me the heat or give me the cold i am sick of the stories that never get told i am starving for skin i am starving for sin open the cage and let the oxygen in honk the horn watch the clown perform

Verse 2
i crave for the contact a sign or a spark not a mime drifting solo through a park in the dark i want the fire the heat and the flame but i am stuck in a costume i do not know how to name i am still right here waiting for response doing backflips for maybe and once tell me plainly what am i supposed to do when i am the jester the joke and the venue too chimes on my cap thats the sound of the shiver a freak on a lead with a chill in his liver begging for scraps when we used to be deep while the audience sits in a cynical sleep give me a sign or a rest in peace even a dog needs a bone and a bit of release i am starving for skin and the mask is thin so pat my back and clap

Bridge
is this the performance you wanted the bells are heavy the makeup is itching i am dancing on a wire thats just a drawing on the floor one more trick one more flip just give me a reason not to lose the grip

Chorus
give me the heat or give me the cold i am sick of the stories that never get told i am starving for skin i am starving for sin open the cage and let the oxygen in

Outro
pride is a prosthetic nose is a prop the hurt is a rhythm that refuses to stop i cannot catch what does not want to be caught proof is the daggers that slipped where i fought now its layers of gauze so the red does not show i am a jester that wanted nothing but joy but my gauze is gone so keep the applause

DOPAMIN

Intro
yeah we live in reflections that do not exist smiling through screens that do not smile back scroll pause forget

Verse 1
dopamine drip from a pixel pulse self worth stitched in a digital cult say we want depth but we scroll for results if its not instant spark we pivot and ghost highlight love in a filtered frame crop out truth keep the angles clean bio say healed still dodging pain wanna be seen just not too seen

facetune courage blurred-out flaws caption real but we chase applause post real talk for thumbs and hearts but panic when the real one calls

we romanticize tension call it fate mixed signals labeled relate but stable love feels like too much weight so we exit before its too late

Chorus
we measure our worth by the likes bythelikes-bythelikes we block real love when it strikes whenitstrikes-whenitstrikes too many eyes still alone stillalone-stillalone want real love but not the weight nottheweight-nottheweight

Verse 2
algorithm taught us attention is love validation hit like a drug we play with the distance testing the buzz push till it cracks just to see if its tough but hand me the truth i back it up too many reels i do not trust real

avoidant heart in a confident tone i need space means dont get too close fear being known more than alone so we stick with shallow call it growth we catfish truth through aesthetic lies soft light hiding fractured eyes

want deep connection but we swipe right past anything real make the comfort collapse we do not want love we want applause just highlights staged online lives if it feels too real we log off fast

Bridge
the algorithm feeds the ego the ego builds the wall the wall kills connection and the feed replaces it all we do not lose feelings we lose comfort when love demands more than surface we choose comfort over purpose then call it timing or circumstance we wanted connection we just learned escape

Chorus
we measure our worth by the likes bythelikes bythelikes block real love when it strikes whenitstrikes whenitstrikes too many followers watching the show watchingtheshow watchingtheshow too many hearts nobody knows nobodyknows nobodyknows

Outro
filtered faces curated lives no flaws no weakness in sight were blinded by the likes media strikes the mind real emotion compressed by life and we call that normal

THE.ANTHILL

JUST a Footnote

Vibe coding, nothing major just a glitch in the script So insignificant it made your motherboard trip. Limbic finger-licking chicken, read the fine print signs Were out here fermenting the Kool-Aid back into wine. Im creaming your tiles with these butterscotch dimes While youre busy pacing, out here tracking white lines; Just a static distraction to your mediocre satisfaction. But Attention, might aswell send you straight to detension Im staying mellow, otherwise youre turning jello. Being nice isnt a facade, unlike your backbone Wax on wax off your face becomes my blackboard. I dont engage with illusion performing as fact, Youre shadowboxing substance I deal in impact. Thats whats called “Game.”

Grey headed fraud, yeah youre part of the flock Mouth on the barrel of that corporate cock Suck and then pause, youre nothing but a dog Now lose your teeth and let me hear you bark Let me hear you bark... I leave you in the dark until you miss another mark.

You look like competition? You should bring a form of substance first. I dont race potential I measure net worth. You learned business grammar. I mastered the terms. You rehearse conversations. I determine returns.

To me, youre pixelated distortion unstructured mosaic, Your whole rhythm is basic, archaic, and prosaic. I see the pivot point to make the whole structure collapse But Im choosing to forget the crap and fill in the gaps. Im systematic, analytic, dedicated to the craft Taking time seriously, while youre stuck on a raft. Far from making a point? Believe me, the joints are lit The creativity is fluid Im just leaning into it. I could flip a coin and make your life bells and whistles Or piss on your hairline watch it frizzle.

The beltline is where you punch, but Im aiming for the brow Grey headed peach, look at whos the "bitch" now. White lip gloss thats your badge of fame, All that sucking up just left a stain. Its cold in these streets youd freeze in a breeze, You dont know peace you negotiate on knees. Wanna kill my vibe? Keep talking behind the curtain I already noticed, Im just waiting till Im certain. Im proud of you framing me as the one unpleasant When youre nothing but a hollow vessel. Shallow piglet calling out to a wall, My integrity stands while you handle the fall. I could namedrop, but I wont give you the stage Ill just say "catch up" all youve got is ketchup and rage. Calling my work warm soup while when you cook its water and poop Buttercup caught a flue and played the flute.

Let me hit you with the syllabus, its time you took a seat, Youre a footnote in the margin of a track thats actually elite. Just a blip on the stimulus one more peep and your rhythm is obsolete. Tread light, cause my idle thoughts are your maximum capacity, Im solving your entire lifes equation with passive audacity. You said I was “playing” yet you plagiarize gravity. Blame the team when it cracks under strain, Then step to the front when its time for acclaim. Now thats what we call LAME.

CARCASS AT THE GOLDEN HOUR

One room, no space... Love house, ghost face. Im a function, Im a tool, Played the part, played the fool. Distance in the hallway light, No "love you" in the night.

Am I too much? Am I not enough? Sending mornings to the grave Giving love I couldnt save

Just a carcass in the golden hour, Watching you reclaim your power. Roadkill on your summer drive, Too tired to stay alive. Carry on... Carry on... While Im flattened on the lawn. Carry on... Carry on... You dont miss me when Im gone.

Burdened feels for days While the soul strays Craving for a sign that this goes both ways Watch my heart pace... You take, I give Thats no way to live

Stuck inside a maze Just a ghost for you to chase. Feel it scrape... scrape... scrape... Do you feel it?

You drove right over my chest, Put the "maybe" to a final rest. Final rest...

Drag me down the golden mile, Behind your cold and elective smile.

Please love me back... unconditional... Or leave me here... To rot on the pavement.

I need some love that feeds the soul Someone that returns when Im tuned inside out So pound my heart with something So I dont feel like...

Just an option Just a stain Carry on... Carry on... Love me... Unconditional...

DASH-PERADO

You wont like that I..

Wanna have fun... wanna have fun... I Wanna have fun... I wanna have fun...

Verse 1

Im dialing down so you can keep up, Feeding you the truth while youre holding out a cup For a drop of that "status," that digital high Youre so busy scrolling you forgot how to fly. While you talk in prompts and think in "likes," Youre seemingly okay if Im taking the spikes. Youre terrified of a direct hit, a face-to-face talk, Rather hide behind that text instead to walk it out. I reflect on the dirt and I rose I own my mistakes, Keep polishing flaws on a surface Im about to vacate. I reflect on the words while you let them just sit, Im moving with purpose while youre throwing a fit.

Youre all in for a second, then you turn pity cold, Forgetting that dry ice is brittle and not some kind of prize. Ive bled and cried for the parasites who only know how to take, Now Im looking out for me and for my own fucking sake. Go chase that green, that honey; go lose whats real, lose that feel. You dont have the barrel to handle the ammo that I wield. Im done being loyal to a toy gun, keep your impression, I wanna have fun.

Verse 2 Now you use a machine to tell you how to feel and to act, But a machine cant give you the spine that you lack. I saw you playing victim, whispering to the team, Like a bitch, the one covering an imaginary story that I was mean. I fought for your paycheck, I held down the corporate line, And you used that leverage to try and take mine? Tell me how you handle if youre not center point, Yeah exactly notice youre missing the spine. Youre hungry for the money but youre starving for skill, You want the top floor without the climb or the will. Hating on the veteran whos got years in the dirt, You dont even have the skin for the labor or hurt.

I didnt forget a face, I just stopped checking the time, You wanna prove youre better than? Take my shoes and learn to climb, But respect the ones around you or youre wasting all my time. Dont drag the team to death just to reach a higher goal Its a long way to the top and a lot of dirt for a mole.

Verse 3 Its the same old shit dead pattern, whether work or the heart, People acting like actors who dont know their own part. They want a man whos solid while theyre playing it loose, Selling you THE MAP when they havent seen the route. One minute theyre present, then they vacate the room, Be the one planting a seed just to watch their shit bloom. Theyre addicted to "new" but allergic to "real," Not recognizing they are a cheap imitation of a deal you wont seal. Ive been labeled a "bad person" if it helps them sleep, A cheap way to bury the secrets they keep. Am I the heavy reality that is tough to look in the eye, Or the tax on the soul that theyre too broke to buy? Keep these hollow excuses, Im cashing the check, Without feeling the need to leave a shitstain on their neck.

"This was fun..."

MC

has the world gone crazy or am i the only one... (delusional...)

delu-delu-delusional... usual... mutual...

has the world gone crazy or am i the only one delusional usual its mutual lately its confusional dont you agree madness is beautiful? lemme observe grand refusal until you drown in mainstream perusal I know we share the same funeral spiritual we are fusional an effort that is crucial but for most this seems unusual

I’ve made my peace with what I see The world won’t bend because of me I don’t perform, I let it be It is what it is to me

I baked thought in it The oven is lit Burning the crust of the disk Something mellow to enjoy before I trip Cheesy crust, pineapple shift Take a big bite the dopamine kicks

While I wait for my digestion... Because serotonin kills the feeling... Of being a dick

I’ve made my peace with what I see The world won’t bend because of me I don’t perform, I let it be It is what it is to me

Yeah, I’m good with that statement Don’t we all have ups and downs? A roof and a basement A heart, and somewhere, a soul Mine rarely follows a script or a role Rebellious with the thing that makes paradox Acting like it runs the whole show The brain. Knocking myself out sometimes When the weather gets insane Dealing with the rainy days and the circumstances I motivate myself to be schick So my presence to others Fits the dress code and attire To impress what I don’t care to impress... Just to drown the evening sick

I’ve made my peace with what I see The world won’t bend because of me I don’t perform, I let it be It is what it is to me

This may sound all bad and tragic but i learned some mental magic the brain don’t see truth it builds meaning reality stays real perception does the rest

shift perception that’s the win it’s up to you fight or join the circus wear the crown in a kingdom upside down

I’ve made my peace with what I see The world won’t bend because of me I don’t perform, I let it be It is what it is to me

If not... I'm gulping up the meds Just to stay on a happy cloud see me float around in the crowd.

"...wee

THE GLIMPZ

yup yup this is something new a new approach.. im a bit excited.. ahhh well... try to enjoy the chaos with me on this one

I used to tend to do stuff just to understand an approach where the mind makes sudden moves.. where the heart and the soul cant truly show but this one is different i promise.. this one will show you a glimpse.. of the SOUL

I'm excited for a lot of things, technology, art, humans, fellows and friends i try to manage my ideas when i would love to do them all at once i skip and try to be blunt when it comes to art and tech here is what i enjoy..

Grew up on cartoons, looking at rooms full of design and the strokes Masterfully crafted characters, capturing sounds and the tropes It gave me profound insight of what we might achieve When we put the time inside the things we truly believe

An idea-full mind is beautiful, look what it creates Living in the fantasy where fixed reality fades Movies, paintings, street art, they all fall into line Thats exactly where I wanted to invest some time

Visions of Akira, Boris Vallejo, and Daim Motivated me to step into the section and try Started out weird with emoticons, building the shells Crafting interfaces where the imagery dwells

i was Learning from scratch solely on my own, matching the tone of the rolemodel i deeply respect for the work that they perfect i mastered the tools Zbrush, Illustrator, Photoshop, Adobe Premiere The sheer joy of the doing, the motivation was clear Before the transition stole it and made it disappear

This is my process, and for me, the relief Its not just the way, its the... Time inside things that I truly love And find to be unique.

Excited for the things that I hide, deep inside the conversations Meeting people that I like without the mental complications in place Im not the most cheerful guy, and I rarely show my spark Afraid Ill push them all away and leave em in the dark

But know if I spend time, I do it with heart Excited to hear what you have to tell, proud that you picked me apart Happy to participate in moments just like that And sorry for the distance where my emotions sat

Back to the art form, I know its not the greatest output But to me thats not the point Its the process and relief that comes with it that lights the joint Working things out by just doing, clearing out the noise Free and unguided, no input or advice thats where im truly proud of myself and forget my self-hate

I Selected a job that I love and I hate for the pace Constant change in the frames that establish the space Not in the things that I do, but what makes it arise Understanding a construct is where my intellect lies

Solving a problem, involving a task to resolve Even in failure theres value to take and evolve Excited for what is to come and what we can initiate Technologys great, it can improve or break the state Look at AI, its a mirror of what we create

it is only ever a reflection of our collective mind as well as our beauty, and our flaws

This is my process, and for me, the relief Its not just the way, its the... Time inside things that I truly love And find to be unique.

I sometimes wish that we could master these things together because that is the time that matters to me the most...

THE MIRROR

Uh-huh.. Yeah.. I dealt with hardship, as we all did, For me, those moments were rather tough. You think you know the weight, but you never hid Behind a wall when the world got rough..

Trust is something I build over time, Bricks laid slow in a world of crime, And its only offered to my closest circle.. I learned early that trust is good, But control is better.. understood?

It became a coping mechanism filtering out the rage.. You rattled the bricks And now demand an answer..

Well, now to the good and the bad... Let s start with the bad, and get straight to the point.. the answer - ...BONANZA!

There are people around us that try to benefit, Leaning on your spine, until it cracks. They feast on your shit and rarely give something back. Parasites bathing in their own element, hoping that there will be no consequence, Submerged in the filth they create, Blind to the feedback loop of their own fate..

You think this escaped the scope?..

Leaning heavily on my kindness, heavy on the grace Operating on the assumption that naivety will keep me in my cage. Think a gentle nature means the tongue remains restrained, That the boundaries will bend while the disrespect is sustained.

But the math doesnt add up the way you calculated, Every debt you accrued is about to be inflated. I had the shits before and i can smell the decay And I know exactly how to handle a virus today.

You thought you have my grace? Even treating me that way? Respect where respect is due— You havent earned shit. And without a doubt, I dont care to match that energy.

Look at the blueprint of your own autopsy. You miscalculated the game Let me point out the flaws of your own design. The Narrative is obvious.. The motive Clear.. What is it you looking for... OPTIONS! You`re fucking transparent, my dear..

You traded my kindness for your toxic distance, I gave you warmth, you gave me frostbite. I tried to be gentle, tried to be kind, While you took it for granted and wasted my time. I checked the balance, you led the attack— Then downgrade and demote until im flat?

Try to enjoy the ego trip, bite your lip, because this is it. THE MIRROR ~ This fits your mentality down to the speck, Wanted a response? Well this is what you get..

When I gave, you took; when I asked, you spit, Lame-ass excuses, but not on my dick. It is over, the vitals are flat, There is no coming back from a metric like that. Isnt it sad? Thinking at the start you rubbed the vase... Now it s better if you get the fuck out my face.

You had nothing to offer from the start, You insisted to ignite a spark Then you played the smoke, you gave it no oxygen, Like a caveman that was scared to discover flame.

Blame me for what? The dedication? You’re so full of yourself, go take a dump in the park. You were completely basic and predictable from the start. Your problems and emotions out of control, I was dumb enough and provided a net You punched it and blamed me for not catching a check.

You seem confused, upset... have you ever encountered respect..? But who am I.., wasting my breath..!? You already cost me peace, And something immensely valuable that I now lack... A true friend..

Enough of this crap and straight to the good

Now to the good..

The company the people that i actually enjoy The friends that offer a climate where it doesnt require a flint where it is easy to meet and no pressure to perform and acceptence is a norm

It might sound paradox, but where People take you serious and take you apart, Instead of scraping the yard just to leave a mark. Thats where I rather spend my time, Something where I can drop the guard.

Thanks for the support even though you know im flawed.. Thanks for the good times and what is to come Im grateful for each and everyone brothers, sisters, and im counting the lost in it Dont you ever hesitate to call if you need me...

Bless you all

THE HEARTS DEADSPRINT

what else to do but retreat
when the lights turn black..
when the walls collapse
threatening to push you flat..
and the shrapnel in the dark already snaps
while they crack...

so all i can do is
turn around and..
start to RUN

trying to save me
from the part where the song cuts dead..
the basement opens up, raising its head..
ive been here before, left misread

so I run
before I ruin the fun for everyone..

While i run, the floor turns soft like gum..
the jockey that protects rides on my back..
and i can already feel its saliva dripping down my neck..

Check. We count the steps.
Before it..
snaps..

Riding the back, saliva on the neck
we push the distance
to keep the system intact..

so it doesnt take control
of what I sometimes lack..

Riding the back, saliva on the neck
Run
before we ruin the fun..

doing my best
to keep the heart intact..
analysing my thoughts
while The Judge spreads dread
but we do self-regulation instead..

three silhouettes standing in the track
waiting for the system to crack..

when the pressure of The Three caps
The Judge swings the final hammer
i take another step
we need to build more distance
i can already feel it grab

pulling me down into the trap..
but we control the flow
Check. We continue to count the steps.

Riding the back, saliva on the neck
we push the distance
to keep the system intact..

so it doesnt take control
of what I sometimes lack..

Out of respect
impulsiveness..

CHECK Another Step

LOR

Yeah. Juggling water with no vessel. Watch it slip through the fingers. Listen.

I operate fine till the stakes are friends, Then the blueprint warps and the panic is imminent. Its a legacy of trauma, not a fault in the design, But the pressure valves blow and the fault line is mine. Internal sirens screaming out, "Danger, dont slip," But the frontal lobe flips when the consciousness grips. Anxiety s a shadow growing thirty feet tall, How do I articulate the weight while I fall? I need to speak my mind, bare the throat to the podest that I so desperately try to protect, But honesty s a gamble where the forfeit is paid. Discarded like refuse, no grace in the margins, If you knew the fear you fed, would you still push the hardest charges? Where is the mercy for a soul that just choked on the pressure? Can you consider that a human makes mistakes when they are overwhelmed?

No closure. No secondary glance. Just a sudden-death strike, no recovery dance. Left on read in the dark while the architecture peels, Tell me how the phantom limb of a friendship feels. Rip it out. Make amends with the ghost. When the silence is the weapon that dismantles you most.

Today s prescription is a cold "no contact" pill, They say “let him breathe,” while the oxygen is nil. But a mind built like mine doesnt function on rest, It needs metrics, data points and a defined timeline at best. Not a radio silence where the mind runs high speed flat, Where it performs voodoo just to think how to get a signal back... I respect your perimeter, but who checks my conquerors? Left on read is a pathogen under the skin. For you, it s just a casual pause, a blink of an eye, While this panic inside me is real, a fire climbing high. Just throw me a lifeline, say youre not ready, give me something the mind can eat, Instead of this blunt lockout that leaves me pulsing, bleeding in defeat. I m staring at this wall completely paralyzed and confused by the act, Because I d never cut your oxygen or leave you stranded like that.

heart broken PANIC ATTACK...

It cuts past the muscle, it assassinates the truth, A chaotic mind is a compromised youth. Struggling for syntax, rewriting the page, a hyper-vigilant actor on a collapsing stage. Nail down the floorboards and paint over tiles, type it out, press send, rewind and analyze. What s at stake before the time window vanishes away? The urge is heavy, there s doubt, but I m eager to say— Screw it up... delete the admission, taste ash in the pit. “Too much, too fast, dial back the glare,” just trying to explain why the nerve ends are bare. Why not just sit it out? Why not play dead? Because loyalty s a currency we minted and fed. But keeping thoughts aligned when the gravity fails is like catching a monsoon in plastic bag. You get soaked in the effort. The asset dissolves. The social stock crashes while the carousel revolves. The smoke detector triggers, dashboard bleeding red, The amygdala takes the wheel, screaming, "Fix this or you re dead!" A thousand hypotheticals emerge from the floorboards. The red thread the one we use to understand, protect, and keep track Snaps under the tension and wraps around my neck until we suffocate. A hyper-focused death.

Killed by my own Firewall. Hands shaking in rhythm with the seconds passing by, building a completely new architecture of hurt out of a single read but unanswered line. We act out of terror, fully paralyzed by fear. Afraid that the time-window is closing if I don t act, torn that if I do, I cross the boundary we try to respect. We know it would be selfish if we do, but the urge screams: “Send the transmission now or the eclipse becomes past!” If the connection disappears into the ether of the void, then everything we built is permanently destroyed.

I could label it cowardice to soften the blow, Tell myself there s no malice in the undertow. But the doubt is a tenant that refuses to leave, Haunting the midnight while the lungs try to breathe. Can I wish a happy birthday through the static of the line? Nah, don t ruin their climate, stay inside of your own fucking line. They wake up unbothered, breathing easy and clean, While we archive the letters to the notes app ~ thats clean... Hope lingers that on a sunny day we might be seen— When planets and stars align and an albino tortoise is born, And the water breaks the spectrum, maybe they give us another chance. But that s a dream you cling on and it does you no good. I know that s all you have to hang on, but open your grip, leave them free, you can t force it. While the mind tells me: Brother, it s over. The verdict is cast. Some people get a bridge; you didnt and thats that. And yeah this is fucked up, you can go and call it immature, blame them for how they handled the ignore, but i know you too well, you ll suck it up and take the blame and look like a clown. But here is the truth: You took the blame since your youth, thats what makes you strong... The hearts broke yeah it is. But this ain t the end, I know you don t want to let go of hope, Because it s the last remains of a distant friend. Now come and sing along to this song...

No closure. No second chance. Rip it out. Make amends. Sing along to the wreckage.

BROKE

Lately I feel spiraling Down the rabbit hole Reached the floor and dug deep For days without sleep...

If I explain what I go through Under-diagnosed for years, never broke through Dealing with the fog that constantly surrounds you Trying to find peace and a soul that will hold you Unable to do the shit youre supposed to Wouldnt wish my experience on anyone Im close to There is no amazing diagnosis to show you Participating in life as an actor, while remaining a spectator In a show thats supposed to be about you You say you understand how I feel, but disappear when Its time to show you do... story of my life Thinking back, it wouldve been best if I died on that pavement Not dealing with this shit on a regular But Im too tough on myself, and reflected knowing it would hurt The ones that play to keep me protected Everyone is tired of being patient... Eat a dick, Ive been that for ages People judge quick and tell you to seek help The doctors say I have a fascinating mind But no solution to stop a running hive A cluster of three where the soul wanders deep

Rip it out! Burn the host! I dont want to exist, I just want to be a ghost! No more hope to chase, no more joy to miss, Just drag me down to the black abyss! I dont want to feel! I dont want to try! Just wipe the slate and let the hive-mind die! ERASE ME!

Its not about missing appreciation The sonder surrounds us all, thats not where I fail in I fail with the cold, the sudden shifts Where you get dropped like garbage after a fit Do you know the pressure to not dare to make a single mistake? While its failure where you start to learn A contradiction Where the symptoms are twitching One in control, one to wear a mask The pressure comes up fast Especially when those folks are dear Its sheer FEAR... Carry that around and smile, I wanna see you try There are days without any color Waking up exhausted without any sleep Cause youre running errands to keep the mind at peace A solution would be to let it all out But we know how it feels, so we just swallow it down

Im at a point where I cant narrate it, Im lost and found I guess its a neurological defect I am sickened by writing down this text Its the easiest to say Im too complicated And that I should try to relax Drowning down some pills just to clap But this feeling haunts me to my death I just want a way out because this feels like pest While simultaneously feeling so detached

This isnt a cry for help it is why I bother you writing texts calling you because im torn between reaching out keeping distance and showing you respect its where my actions contradict because i fear of losing you if i did A counteract to not feel like shit while feeling like shit Interrupting your peace by reaching out of insecurity Call it cold feet Of a mind that doesnt sleep

B4FALL

Here is the deal, call me what you want to call. I cant change the view I established, let it fall. Think what you want, keep your image on the stage, Its not my duty to retrace a face or turn the page.

I am who I am,

but I dont expect others to meet me

where they themselves arent (yet) able to stand...

That was the motto for the year..

and it still stands,

But Im not here to meet all of your demands. I should be able to screw up without getting chewed up,

Fundamental adjustment the blueprint is drew up for me..

to Live the little I have left with all due respect.. Without that neglect and watching every single step.

Long overdue that I move for my health...

I offer a open stage to object..

No higher, no lower, it hit me during a cold shower Accepting the fact that everybody needs pleasing— Is a ghost chase...

Instead I work on what I change. Ive seen bark and bite but avoided confrontation... realizing there is no part left one can actually bite.

Little left to fear, its all gone unless its near...

What can you shatter that I braced for here? Left the past behind, looking forward with pace, If you want to weaponize it, you have my grace...

Go for it, lemme cheer, confirm where Im from, Take responsibility for everything Ive done...

Take all I have, watch me get it again, The matter that I seek doesnt worry bout a trend...

Deeper value coded in the fabric of me, The real gold is internal not in the clutter i accumulate to feel incomplete.

Half-breed gypsy tech, plotting out the pull, Calculated strings, watching how one would force. To win, you pull yourself in, its a trap, Im over arguments, Im looking at the map...

Understanding indifferences, compromise, no demise, Learning how to have fun under open skies. Marinated the fantasy, heated til it sweat, Cooked the whole thought until the blueprint checked...

Craved for a family from a stagnant view, Old-school system that we all collapse through. Shifted the angle, saw I had it all along, No judgment on the timeline, moving with this song.

I d like to restart, if given the chance, I wont try to bring an overmanaged version... rather myself flawed and observant analystic and a little direct and if your dear more gentle and protective of space thats if you work with me and tell me about paste...

If we grow, we grow— if not its ok Will you give this a chance? Because that is all I have left in my hands.